In addition to looking at the “hidden positives” of your divorce, you also want to analyze objectively your deepest fears about what might happen.
Fears are often irrational. Science suggests that we are afraid of things that, statistically, we probably shouldn’t fear (like shark attacks). Conversely, we are not afraid of things that we probably should fear (like getting behind the wheel every day). It’s easy to understand this argument and believe it in the abstract. But it’s a lot harder to “just get over” fears.
Here is an exercise to help you break through. Conjure up in your mind all the “worst case scenarios” that might happen during or after your divorce. For instance, maybe your spouse gets sole custody of the kids. Or maybe he unfairly gets the lion’s share of your marital assets. Or maybe he or she remarries quickly (within a few months), while you remain single and lonely for the next 5 years. All those situations could be pretty painful, no doubt. But research suggests that they won’t be necessarily as painful as you feel they might be now.
For instance, let’s say your husband remarries in 6 months, while you are still stuck on the dating scene. At first, you might be jilted by jealousy. But over time, you will accept the situation as part of the status quo. It won’t affect you emotionally on a day-to-day level. You might feel sad, but it won’t be the visceral sadness that you anticipate now.
For help with your divorce related legal needs, call the Toussaint Law Firm, PC to schedule a free consultation with us.