In our second to last post on communicating with children after a child custody battle, let’s talk about how to deal with problems caused (or worsened) by “stuff” your ex-spouse says or does. For instance, when the kids come over to your house, you may overhear them having a discussion about how “mommy said you weren’t feeding us healthy foods” or “daddy doesn’t think you should be dating Mathew.”
How can you handle these complex questions – often raised by perfectly innocent kids?
Here’s one good rule of thumb: to the extent possible, avoid dragging your children into your personal business. While you do want to be forthright and answer your children’s questions, you also want to avoid burdening them with your own baggage or allowing them to be used as pawns in negotiations between you and your spouse.
Your best bet is to avoid overreacting. Instead, provide needed facts, and then deal with the underlying situation with your ex-spouse in private. In some cases, you may be able to work out the problem on your own via a phone call or an email. In another cases, it makes much more sense to talk to your divorce or family law attorney first to strategize.
In general, avoid acting impulsively or engaging in rash, reactive behavior. For help with all aspects of the child custody or divorce process, call the Toussaint Law Firm, PC immediately to schedule a free and confidential private consultation.