After a painful child custody battle, you may be sad and frustrated to realize that your child knows far too much about the workings of your marriage (and your own flaws) than you would have preferred.
Whether you’re connecting with a child after a fight or a frustrating conversation — or you’re simply trying to explain your reasoning on a particular topic related to the split or the child custody arrangement — avoid doing so impulsively.
Instead, spend time collecting your thoughts and possibly even writing them down in a journal before having the pivotal conversation. That advice may sound strange. Why would you rehearse a conversation with your child in the same way that you might rehearse a conversation with your boss or a new client? The answer is that practicing and “pre-thinking” the conversation can prepare you for dealing with unexpected reactions – both on the part of your kids and your own part.
For instance, you may say something that seems totally innocent to you that triggers tears or yelling from one of your children. Or one of your kids may offer a cutting (but accurate) diagnosis of what has happened in your marriage, leaving you feeling flustered and unable to continue the conversation.
By anticipating what might be said or done, you will be able to prepare for contingencies. Once you engage in this process, review what happens and learn from your experiences. For instance, perhaps you will connect in ways you didn’t think were possible. If so, you want to understand how you enabled that connection, so you can do it again.
For help building a precise, effective child custody case, call the Toussaint Law Firm, PC immediately to schedule a free consultation.