The American wars in Afghanistan and Iraq have had a profound effect, not just on our nation’s economy and spirit, but also on our families. Whether you and your spouse separated after one of you were deployed; or you and your spouse drifted apart after being reunited stateside, you’re probably reeling from the experience.
What can you do now?
A military divorce can be a challenging experience. But it doesn’t have to be isolating one. You can rebuild your family and find new meaning and new peace.
Here are some tips:
- Now is the time to lean on your social support network, including friends, family members, and military colleagues. Ask for help if/when you need it!
- Avoid isolating yourself. You don’t have to share your inner feelings or even reveal any details about your relationship. Just make sure you get around other people; consider military benefits for counseling related to your separation.
- Nourish your body by getting enough sleep, getting some sunlight, and eating a diet that’s low in process-refined junk food and sugar and full of healthy protein, fats, and vegetables;
- Identify your unmet needs. For instance, in the wake of the divorce, you may have unmet needs for companionship, for empathy, for play, , for financial assistance, etc. You don’t need to meet these needs all at once. Just being aware that you have them is a big first step. You can then devise creative strategies to meet them. For instance, if you need companionship, consider getting a pet. If you need empathy for what you saw in the war, join a veterans support group. If you need financial assistance, talk to a financial planner. In other words, don’t try to solve everything with “one grand gesture.” Take baby steps, and do this process consistently.
For help understanding your rights, obligations and resources when involved in a military divorce, please call attorney Scott Toussaint and his team for a free and confidential consultation. We can protect your rights in the divorce, answer your questions and help you feel back in control.