Once you’ve gotten comfortable with the idea of letting go of feelings of blame and shame regarding the divorce, what’s next?
Once you’ve started to heal, you may be able to start to look back on the relationship and approach your ex with empathy. If you have children together, odds are that you will still need to interact with him or her for a while. So if you can be empathetic, that will obviously help you during those interactions. Understand that he or she also has negative feelings and unmet needs, and try to examine those outside of a personal context.
For instance, perhaps you’re a conventional family person, and your ex is more of a free spirit, hippy type. He or she just has a deep need for traveling or for spontaneous experiences that you do not share. That doesn’t make him or her a bad person – it just means that you’re headed in different directions.
Some studies suggest that the practice of mindfulness meditation — particularly a kind of meditation known as “Metta Meditation” — might be useful for people who have experienced substantial emotional trauma. Lastly, if you have yet to connect with an attorney, call the team here at the Toussaint Law Firm, PC for a free consultation.