One of the hardest emotions to manage is anger. Here’s one really interesting metaphor to use, if you’re trying to repair a broken relationship: the “anger volcano.”
The basic idea is this: anger is like lava spewing from the top of a volcano. Its source is buried deep in the “volcano,” which consists of painful emotions like disappointment, sorrow, helplessness, frustration, etc. So when someone displays anger, the anger usually has its roots in these deeper emotions. To deal with anger in other people (and in yourself), according to the philosophy of this metaphor, look at both the anger itself AND at the underlying emotions.
In other words, let’s say you feel angry because your daughter won’t speak to you anymore. Take a look at that emotion, and try to figure out what other emotions are attached to it — emotions that are deeper rooted than the anger. For instance, you might feel sadness that you are not as close to your daughter as you once were. You might feel embarrassed by how you’ve acted in the past.
This anger volcano metaphor doesn’t necessarily give you a way to “fix” things as much as it does give you a way to reframe your problems in a more strategic and compassionate way, so you can deal better with your own challenges. Call the Toussaint Law Firm, PC for a thorough, free case consultation about your divorce or child custody matter.