Here is another common traumatic event that could happen during or after a divorce: your children may suddenly treat you differently and even favor the other spouse. Depending on your relationship with your kids, this can range from mildly annoying to downright heartbreaking. What should you do?
First off, understand that the divorce process can confound and frustrate children, just like it can confound and frustrate the adults caught up in the process.
Children can also react impulsively and say or do things that they don’t truly mean. For instance, if your twin 3-year-olds scream at you in unison “I hate you, mom!” after a bitter argument over getting dressed to leave the house, odds are that they don’t actually “hate” you. Rather, they are reacting with deep sorrow and confusion to events they can’t control.
So how can you manage your life better? How can you take care of your kids and make sure to protect your own dignity and needs for respect?
Listen to your children – even when they say painful things. Accept that they may have different opinions, not only now but also in the future. It’s not your responsibility to force them to see your perspective. You can explain your perspective in compassionate and clear language and also strive to protect their needs and interest.
Focus on what you can and cannot do – as opposed to what you want your kids to do (or not do). By doing this, you will feel more in control and less likely to do something impulsive that could further complicate your relationship with your kids.
First things first, you also want to deal with your divorce related issues. If you have haven’t yet retained a divorce attorney to manage your legal concerns, get in touch with the Toussaint Law Firm, PC immediately for a free consultation.