Here’s one of the trickiest issues about dating after a divorce: navigating the initial few weeks/months back on the dating scene.
Perhaps you spent the last 15 years with your husband; you can’t even remember what it’s like to kiss another man. Or maybe your ex-wife is still really involved in your life, because you two talk regularly about the children, and you’re still friends. So you’re worried about how awkward it could get if/when you start dating.
Nurturing a fledging relationship — even without the divorce related “drama” — is hard enough. Starting up a new relationship while you’re taking care of kids, working on your divorce, and managing a relationship with your ex is a different level of “hard.”
In addition to common sense advice like “take it slow” and “be honest,” hone your power of attention. Pay attention to how you feel and how your kids and ex feel. You don’t necessarily want to bow to your ex’s demands about your love life. But you do want to be aware if your ex gets dangerously jealous.
You want to avoid a terrifying situation, for instance, in which your ex absconds with your children illegally, out of spite after finding out that you’re dating your ex-boyfriend from high school again. You also want to be careful about how and when to integrate new boyfriends or girlfriends into your world. Doing so without a strategy could actually create problems for your divorce. For instance, if during child custody negotiations, the court sees that you immediately moved in with a new boyfriend you met on Craigslist two weeks after your separation, it may conclude that you’re not a particularly stable parent.
To deal with your divorce and custody issues effectively, call the Toussaint Law Firm today to schedule a free, thorough evaluation of your divorce case.