How long should you wait after a divorce or separation to start dating?
Hundreds of Marie Claire and Cosmopolitan articles have been written on this topic, and we’re not about to solve the debate in a simple, short blog post. Some analysts say “go out there and start dating as soon as you want/can.” Others urge new divorcees to “take their time” and create a self-imposed mandatory “dating waiting” period, ranging from a few weeks to a few years, depending on things like the intensity of the marriage.
Here’s one thing to remember: it’s not a contest.
Just because your ex-spouse wants to re-partner (or already has re-partnered) does not obligate you to follow suit or “one-up” him or her by getting into a relationship yourself. Focus, instead, on your own needs and the needs of your children and family. Racing to re-partner could complicate your life problems and even cause issues with the divorce process.
Along those lines, err on the side of being too conservative – i.e., wait longer than you might want before you date or pursue serious relationships. Before you “get out there,” get your personal and financial business in order. Secondly, really make sure you’re ready to pursue new relationships. Unconsciously or subconsciously, you might resist, because your heart is still with your ex, despite all the hurt and pain caused by the break up.
At the Toussaint Law Firm, PC, we can help you understand your options and pursue a sensible resolution to your divorce case. Call us today for a free consultation.