Perhaps your husband committed infidelity with your next-door neighbor. Or maybe you discovered something sordid and disturbing about your wife’s past (e.g. a criminal history she never bothered to reveal to you). Or maybe your marriage collapsed after sustained pressure brought on by debt, illness, and constant bickering.
Before you commit to ending the marriage, however, you want to determine whether divorce is really the right next step for you. Can your marriage be saved? This is a profound question, and it deserves deep thought and consideration. In several blog posts, we’ll explore this issue in depth to give you guidance about how to think strategically about your marriage and how to proceed with separation/divorce mindfully, if that’s the route that you choose to take.
For today, let’s start with a very useful concept called “zero-based thinking.” This idea is popular in self-help literature. The basic idea is that you try to divorce your thinking about the present from the past. If you had no history with your husband (or wife), would you get into the relationship in the first place?
This question forces you to think about your relationship in a new way – not as something that you are “lugging around” or staying in out of guilt, shame, or fear. Rather, you give yourself a different kind of choice: would you choose to enter the relationship, starting from scratch?
For help dealing with a divorce or other family law issue, call the Toussaint Law Firm, PC today to set up a free, confidential consultation with us.